


the view

by west_haven



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: F/F, ellie has anxiety but still kinda wants to kiss people: the short fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23699725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/west_haven/pseuds/west_haven
Summary: Things don't just end with one kiss. More are expected to come, but Ellie has to at least try to sort through her feelings first.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 95





	the view

The night sky felt soothing to her eyes, but Ellie's heart still hammered in her chest with an overwhelming sense of fear. One thing that she had learned to do— from Joel, in fact— was to take what you fear and smother it until you could ignore it.

But being there under the stars with Dina, their legs idly hanging off a random roof, her fears bubbled to the surface.

Nothing is permanent, not even close. The people around her are going to die. It was hard to enjoy life when the thought of death tickled the base of her skull.

Ellie closed her eyes and screamed at the thoughts to go away, just for tonight.

As she slowly tried to unwind, to fight off the adrenaline telling her to run, a hand clasped hers.

"So I got you here but actually, it's like you're not here at all, huh?"

Ellie jerked her head towards Dina, seeing the slight confusion in her eyes. _I already fucked this up_ , the thought crossed her mind. _So that means I gotta fix it. Somehow_.

"I'm sorry, it's just..." She gave a vague gesture, as if that explained things, but then shrugged and shook her head. "Social situations aren't my strongest suit, I guess. And...."

"And I kissed you. And I'm pretty sure you liked it."

At the mention of what happened earlier, Ellie could feel her face turn pink. "W-well, you aren't wrong there. There is, uh, a lot to process."

"I kissed you, with tongue, in front of most of the town. Did I miss anything?"

If there was one thing you could count on Dina for, it was for never pulling punches.

Ellie opened her mouth to speak, but her words got caught in her throat. Anxiety bubbled inside her, making it impossible to even nod or shake her head.

"Ellie?" Now Dina looked more concerned, her teasing tone dropping like a lead balloon. Her hand brushed up Ellie’s shirt, smoothing the wrinkles in the fabric while trying to rub comforting circles into her back. "I don't want you to clam up, you can talk to me if you want to."

Her mind seized up at the thought of opening up to someone. Where could she even _start_?

Ellie was still hung up about her past, where she literally fought to survive, and how it contrasted with life in Jackson. Instinct still caused her to double check every corner for enemies, even when she was just walking down the street to shop for food. Threats did not loom in the shadows as they did in Boston, in Pittsburgh, in....

Her brain forcefully stopped that train of thought, her stomach twisting in a tight knot at the memories she had tried to bury.

 _It's not that easy_ , Ellie's mind finally supplied, and after a heartbeat, she weakly voiced that thought.

"What's not easy? Talking?" Dina's face tilted forward with a smirk, "Or kissing girls?"

Involuntarily, a short giggle shot out of Ellie. The tension in her shoulders was still as tight as a rubber-band pulled taut, but she couldn't help the reaction.

"Fuck, I can't with you." She said simply, one hand loosely running through her hair, trying to hide her nervousness. 

"Hm, well, I think you can. I'm very do-able, if I do say so myself."

Now Ellie's face jolted back up, eyes wide at Dina, who grinned like a cat that had finally caught a mouse. "Seriously? _Do-able_?"

"You know you wanna." She didn't let up, grinning and winking at Ellie. "You can't resist my dirty charm."

"I cannot believe you. Ugh." In defeat, Ellie pressed her face into Dina's shoulder. "Your dumbass-ery is like an anxiety blocker. I still feel like shit but your insanity may be catching."

Under her cheek, she could feel Dina's low chuckle, while she casually wound her arm around her waist. Without another witty one liner to distract her, though, the buzz of doubt was a continuous hum as she tried to bury herself further into Dina's loose embrace.

"It's not easy but I could try, I guess." Ellie finally said. "If you're willing to put up with my angsty ass."

"No one is really a shining example of mental health these days, but shit is less shitty when you've got people. Ain't that right?" Dina squeezed her gently as she spoke.

A brief memory of peaceful giraffes and a quiet moment before a storm flashed in her head, of Joel looking down at her with a slight spark of hope in his eyes. The future exists, it reminded Ellie, it always came even after the coldest winter.

The feeling was too much to even form into words, so she leaned up and pulled Dina's face towards her own. Ellie paused, holding the moment in her memory before closing the distance.

It felt so easy, losing herself in a kiss, especially when the voices inside her were quieter than before. Her hands raked up the back of Dina's neck, holding her in place as she deepened the kiss. She pushed forward, leaning into her to press her down to the rooftop.

"So," Ellie breathed, breaking away for a moment. "Tell me more about being _do-able_."

**Author's Note:**

> Initially, I started writing some of this nearly two years ago in response to the E3 demo, but I only started properly bang it out late last year. After the first TLOU2 delay, though, I shelved it, and after this most recent one, I shelved it harder.
> 
> But you know what? Be free little fanfic, just be free.
> 
> I want to like Dina, but I'm still on the fence about her, so I thought I'd try writing something out to try to get a handle on things. I also wanted to write for this series again, I wanted to write Ellie, so here I am.


End file.
